Agnes’s Death Rosary

For Those Who Choose Lament Over Lament

In the name of the Hollow, the Haze, and the mood stabilizer I keep forgetting to refill.
I consecrate this moment to sighing dramatically and drinking lukewarm coffee while staring into the middle distance like I’m in some indie film nobody asked for.

Let this rosary be prayed:
In sweatpants, ideally on the floor.
With background noise from whatever show I’m re-watching instead of answering emails.
While resenting the sun for trying so damn hard.

1. The Morning That Betrayed Me

I woke up, regretted it, and immediately began manifesting bedtime.

2. That Outfit That Used to Fit (RIP)

It shrunk. Or I grew older and wider. Either way, someone’s gaslighting this waistband.

3. The Friend Who Ghosted But Still Watches My Stories

Bless her... actually she can fuck off. Next.

4. The Meal I Pretended to Enjoy

It was quinoa. I said “Mmm.” I meant “Chewing feels performative.”

5. The Night That Turned Into a Trilogy (Without Consent)

I closed my eyes and accidentally entered the extended director’s cut of insomnia.

6. The Shower I Scheduled but Emotionally Bailed On

I made it to the bathroom. That counts as proximity progress. They always say it’s the thought that counts.

7. That Hobby That Was Supposed to Save Me

It gave me one serotonin sparkle and vanished like a bout of ED.

8. She Said “Have You Tried Gratitude?” I Said “Have You Tried Silence?”

We haven’t spoken since. I think I won therapy.

9. Nine… Is Emotionally Unavailable at This Time

Please leave a message after the unresolved coping mechanism.

10. The Gym I Ghosted Like an Ex Who Asked If I Still Tracked Macros

I left behind a resistance band and years of false hope.